


S is for Storytime

by Rinkafic



Series: Lorne Parrish Alphabet Soup [22]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 06:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lorne and Parrish are babysitting Torren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	S is for Storytime

“Once upon a time there was a crazy, long-haired hippy dude that loved plants and flowers, especially his bulbyfillhim barbie gums, even more than he loved people.”

“Bulbophyllum barbigerum. Evan, what are you telling the baby?”

“Teyla said to tell him a bedtime story, so I’m telling him a bedtime story.”

“Tell him a real story.”

“This is a real story, it’s totally real. Now stop interrupting me and let me tell Torren the story.”

“What does he know about hippies or orchids?”

“He doesn’t even walk yet, what does he know about frogs or princesses or dragons either? Shut up, I’m making this up as I go.”

“No need to be rude, Major.”

“Who invited themselves along? Huh, Torren, who wanted to come? I’ll tell you who, Mister Orchid-Loving Critic pants, that’s who.”

“How long are you going to stay mad?”

“Forever. Now Torren, the crazy botany guy was as blind as a bat and couldn’t see things that were right in front of him, unless they had roots or leaves or bulbs or flowers. He was mean to everyone around him, ignoring them all the time and not doing the things he promised to do. One by one all the people went away out of his life until he was all by himself and he was a very lonely man.”

“You’re being an asshole.”

“Don’t curse in front of the baby, Parrish. Why did you come, anyway? You hardly know Teyla and you don’t like kids.”

“I like you.”

“No you don’t. You don’t like anyone except your plants.”

“I. Like. You.”

“Let go of me or I’ll punch you, David.”

“No violence in front of the baby. C’mon, I said I was sorry. I like you, Evan, a lot.”

“Mffff, no making out in front of the baby either. And I haven’t forgiven you. Go sit over there. I’m telling Torren a story.”

“Start over.”

“No, I like the orchid loving hippy story. Hey, phew! Is that you, kid? Dang, Torren, you’ve got a stinky butt! Hey Parrish, you wanna make it up to me?”

“I am not changing a dirty diaper.”

“So the mean, inconsiderate botany guy...”

“Botanist, use the proper title.”

“Doctor Snobby looked around one day and found that there was no one to share his orchids with. All of the people that might have cared about his work had gone away and he hadn’t even noticed.”

“I noticed, I’m sorry. You are not letting this go, are you?”

“There we go, Torren, all fresh and clean. Now, if we were monkeys that lived in trees, we might take this opportunity to throw this poop at someone that might be bothering us.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“But as we are not monkeys, we won’t do that. One day, as Doctor Snobby was working in his very lonely greenhouse, by himself, all alone, with no one to help him...”

“Point. Get on with it. Your audience is going to sleep.”

“He is not, look, he’s watching me. He hasn’t had his bottle yet.”

“I meant me.”

“So one day, there was a knock on the door and a painter was standing there, holding his easel and paints and a blank white canvas. ‘I heard you have beautiful orchids. May I please paint them?’ he asked. What do you think happened, Torren? Do you think Doctor Snobby had learned his lesson? Or do you think he sent the painter away?”

“I think he invited the painter in. And then he showed him where his favorite and most beautiful orchid was growing. And while the painter worked, he brought him lemonade and ginger snaps and he complimented the painting.”

“Hhhmm. Sounds okay by me. I think Torren approves too.”

“And then, after the painting is done, the botanist will take the painter home and show him how sorry he was for being mean and he would spend the whole night making it up to him.”

“By watching cheesy sci-fi movies.”

“But no Godzilla.”

“With foot massages.”

“Fine, with foot massages.”

“And a bubble bath.”

“You’re pushing it, Evan.”

 

The End


End file.
